#makes taking care of myself feel more special
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i would love a part two to the quinn neglecting you blurb :)
âż CUPID'S FLORAL SHOP âż
here's a freshly picked restless rose đč !
warnings: quinn feeling like an ass, wrote on my phone so i donât know how grammatically correct this is
word count: 740
florist cupid: the long awaited part two ! iâm so glad everyone liked this, i honestly didnât think it would go crazy the way it did but im thankful it did.
it was about an hour that quinn was out of the apartment, thoughts racing through his head as he walked down the street. heâd shoot a weak smile and give a small wave to those who called out his name, even stopping to sign something once and a while.
but for the most part, he spent his time in his own headspace, thinking about the vents that had happened in the past couple hours. heâd been neglecting you for weeks. how could he not haven seen it?
at some point during his walk he stopped outside a flower stand, eyes trailing over each and every flower, finally settling on a small bouquet of one of your favorite flowers, making small talk with the older lady who was working the stand.
âspecial date tonight?â
quinn looked at her sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, âno i uh⊠kind of messed up.â
the lady gave him a knowing smile, finishing wrapping the flowers nicely. it was silent for the next few moments before she handed the bouquet to him. he went to take out his wallet but the woman just shook her head with a fond look on her face, âdonât worry about it.â
quinn fumbled, almost dropping his cash on the ground, âare you sure? i couldnât just-â
âis she important?â
he nodded instantly, âyeah, most important person in the world. she um-â he let a smile tug at his lips and tears prick his eyes, âsheâs everything to me.â
âthen itâs no big deal. you only get one of those girls, donât lose her now.â
quinn thanked her again, walking away from the stand, but not before slipping money into the small jar.
âăăâż ăăâ
when he got back to your shared apartment, he played with the zipper of his jacket for a few moments before sliding the key in and unlocking the door.
you hadnât moved from your spot on the couch the whole time he had been gone, you were too engrossed in your thoughts to move.
the sound of the lock unlocking stirred you from trance, snapping your head to look at the door.
quinn looked even more tired than when he had left, his hair messy as if he had been running his hands through it nonstop on his walk.
your eyes found the flowers in his hands, butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you spoke softly, âquinny.â
he gave you a weak smile, slipping his shoes off and walking over to where you now stood. he handed you the flowers, the fingers on his free hand intertwining with yours.
he leaned down, letting your forehead rest against his. he played with your fingers, his and yours breathing being the only sound you could hear.
âtheyâre beautiful⊠thank you.â
âiâm sorry.â
you peered up at him through your eyelashes, taking in his guilty expression. you detangled your hand from his, reaching up to cup his face, rubbing your thumb across his cheek, âquinn-â
âiâm sorry.â he repeated, placing his hand on your hip to draw you closer to him, âi shouldnât have pushed you aside, i shouldnât have been so absorbed in the team and i shouldâve been taking care of myself. youâre the most important person in my life and i wouldnât have even been able to get through this past year without you, i shouldnât have taken you for granted.â
you didnât say anything, you couldnât. tears welled in your eyes as you listened to him talk, hanging on every word he said. you knew he was sorry, you knew he didnât mean to do this, but he did and it happened.
it was a rough patch in your relationship, but you would get through it, you knew you would.
he frowned when he saw the tears in your eyes, moving his hand to grasp yours again, âdonât cry, please. you know i hate when you do, especially if itâs because of me.â
he took the flowers from your hand, placing them down on the coffee table to bring you into a hug, cradling your head to his chest.
âiâll make it up to you, i promise even if itâs the last thing i do.â
âdonât need to make it up to my quinn,â your fingers grasped at his sweater, clutching it like a lifeline. âyouâre here now, and you apologized, not that you needed to, but thatâs what matters. youâre here now.â
back to the shop ! ; navigation !
#. Ëâ âżă cupid's floral shop ă#Ë àŒâĄă cupids writing ăâïœĄ#ËïœĄâă blurbs ă#ËïœĄâă quinn hughes ă#quinn hughes#qh43#quinn hughes x reader
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đ . âź too late to speak .á Öč â ê±
ââAzul Ashengrotto x gn! reader
đ” 879 words
á°.á 3rd Person POV, no pronouns used, unestablished relationship with reader, angst, hurt/no comfort
might give this a part 2 with a happy ending if I feel like it or anyone asks (-Ï-ïŒ) feel free to like, reblog, or comment!
á°.á masterlist
Azul always knew you were kind.
Not just polite or charming, but truly, genuinely kind. The kind of person who greeted everyone by name, who asked how their day was and actually listened to the answer. The kind of person who saw past his sharp businessmanâs smile, his smooth-talking arrogance, and treated him as if he was worth more than just a contract.
But that was just how you were with everyone.
He told himself that, over and over again. That you were just friendly. That there was nothing special about the way you spoke to him, that he was foolish for thinking he meant anything more to you than the next student you happened to befriend.
So he waited.
Waited for a sign. For proof that you might see him the way he saw you. Because Azul Ashengrotto didnât take risks he couldnât afford to lose, and losing youâthe idea of you rejecting him, looking at him with pityâwas something he could never gamble on.
So he said nothing.
And in turn, neither did you.
You used to think Azul would be the one to confess first.
He was strategic, after allâalways had a plan, always thought five steps ahead. If he wanted something, he found a way to get it. And for a while, you let yourself believe that maybe, maybe, you were something he wanted, too.
You caught the way he lingered whenever you spoke, how his usually quick-witted tongue tripped over itself when you leaned a little too close. The way his gaze softened when he thought no one was looking.
You noticed it all. And it made your heart race, made your stomach twist in that agonizing, hopeful way.
But Azul never acted. Never said a word.
So, eventually, you convinced yourself you had imagined it.
That if he truly wanted you, he would have done something by now.
That maybe, despite the way you thought he looked at you, despite the way you wanted him to look at youâhe never actually felt the same.
But you had to be sure.
So you tested him.
"Azul, I need your help."
He looked up from his ledger, barely registering your words at first. He had spent the past hour going over the Loungeâs weekly earnings, making adjustments, analyzing profit marginsâbut all of that became meaningless the moment you stepped into his office.
You were smiling. You always smiled.
"Of course," he said smoothly, placing his pen down. "What can I do for you?"
You hesitated, shifting on your feet. That wasnât like you. You were usually so confident when asking him for favors, teasing him about his endless contracts and over-the-top business plans.
This time, though, you looked... nervous.
"I... well, you know Iâve been spending a lot of time withâ" you said a name. Azul barely heard it. His mind had already started ringing, a dull roar drowning out the sound of your voice.
No. No, no, no.
Not that name. Not them.
"I think I like them, Azul," you admitted, fingers gripping the hem of your uniform. "And IâI want to tell them. But I donât know how to do it without making a fool of myself."
Your heart was pounding. It was humiliating, really, standing here, asking him of all people for help with this.
Because you werenât just asking for advice. You were waiting. Watching.
For the slightest change in his expression. A flicker of somethingâanythingâthat might prove you hadnât been wrong.
That all those moments werenât just in your head.
That Azul wanted you.
But Azul didnât react.
He blinked once, his expression unreadable, and thenâhe smiled.
The same careful, practiced smile you had seen him use a hundred times before.
"I see," he said, voice perfectly even. "Well, that is quite the dilemma."
A laugh escaped youâlight, relieved. That was that, then.
It was never real, was it?
Azul had never liked you the way you liked him.
His throat closed up. His hands curled into fists beneath his desk.
Youâyou were asking him for advice on how to confess to someone else.
He shouldâve seen this coming. He did see this coming, deep down. But he had been too much of a coward to act. Too afraid of rejection to reach for the one thing he wanted more than anything.
And now?
Now you were asking him to help you love someone else.
He couldn't speak. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't think.
"Azul?" Your voice was so soft, so sweet. So unfair.
He forced himself to smile. To laugh.
To play the part of the perfect, unaffected friend.
And when you beamed at him, oblivious, he knewâhe had already lost.
You had your answer.
It stung. More than you wanted to admit.
But at least now you knew.
At least now, you wouldnât spend another second waiting for something that was never going to come.
You smiled at Azul, one final test, but he didnât hesitate. He launched into his usual confident spiel, offering you advice like it was nothing. Like he wasnât crushing your chest with every word.
And for the first time, you really believed him.
Azul didnât want you.
Not like that.
And if that was the case, then maybe moving on really was the right choice.
#۶ৠqka daydreams!#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#azul ashengrotto#twst azul#twst azul x you#twst azul x reader#azul ashengrotto x you#azul ashengrotto x reader#azul x reader#azul x you#twst azul ashengrotto#twst azul ashengrotto x reader#twst azul ashengrotto x you#angst#hurt/no comfort
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Could you do another fem!Nikolai piece, just anything. Smut, fluff, angst anything. I just love fem!Nikolai
đđđą!đŁđđ đ€đĄđđ + đĄđđ„đšđ©đđđ
notes â„ this is veeeery rushed lmao i saw your ask after my exam and i gotta distract myself so here's a quick drabble
contents â„ fem!reader
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 Your older girlfriend loves to collect make-up.Â
Her skill in make-up is unmatchedâan artist. You know the basic ones and some styles for special occasions. But Nikolai is talented enough to play around with the colours. And lately, she has been loving red lipstick.Â
âLike Monroe!â She once said.
Right now, she has been trying and swatching different shades of red on her lips. She insists you sit by her side at the makeup table, and you are more than happy to try her new collection. But there is a conundrumâyou do not think red lipstick suits you.Â
Perhaps it is your skin tone or the shape of your lips. You do prefer a soft makeup style, after all. Bold glamour is something you do not have the confidence to try yet.Â
âTry this one,â Nikolai says as she gives you a reddish peachy-coloured lipstick. You gladly take it and apply it to your lips. Leaning closer to her side, you take a look at yourself in the mirror, pouting and smiling to see your peachy lips.Â
âCute, cute. I kinda like this one. Do you think it could work as a blusher too? It's pretty pigmented, don't you think?â You say as you tap the lipstick on your cheekbone. A bright peachy patch lands on your skin. âOops.â
âItâs not really blendable though,â Nikolai comments. She grabs her used tissue that is already smeared with various lipstick shades and wipes the colour on her lips. âYou like that one?â
âMm-hm. Pretty cute.â
âYou can take it.â
Your smile widens as you grin. You have already planned to use her makeup after all. You give a smooch on her cheek, planting a shade of faint orange on her. Nikolai chuckles before she continues to rummage through her lipstick collection. She grabs one out of the box and opens the lid.Â
âMy, that's a bright one.â She says, amused by the bold shade of red of the new lipstick. She attempts to read the French word that is used as the shade name but she ends up stuttering, giving up immediately. You snort at her attempt and stifle your laughter by pressing your lips together when she flashes you a glare. âAh, whatever.â She says.Â
As she swatches the lipstick on her lips, you wipe the colour on yours with a sheet of tissue. Frankly, you don't dare to try the red lipstick that Nikolai is holding right now. The colour is too intimidatingâtoo fierce. But for her, any colour looks good. You have a feeling that she might be an artist secretlyâas if the colour theory is a philosophy buried deep in her brain.Â
âThere. How do I look? Cute?â She poses a bit in front of youâwinking, grinning, pouting. Enamoured by her playfulness, your eyes are fixated on her lips. The shade complimented the shape and the linesâand they have never looked so kissable.Â
âSexy.â You say and Nikolai smiles.Â
âI know, right? I love this one.â She blows a kiss at you before giving you the red lipstick. âTry?â
You shake your head carefully. âMm, no thanks. It's too bold for me. I might look like a clown.â
âAwh, who cares? I love clowns. Clowns can be cute too.â She softly says, trying to convince you. âRed lips suit you.â She adds.
âHmmâŠâ You take the lipstick and curiously tap the stick with your finger, ever so slightly. But even the softest tap paints your skin with bright pigment. You laugh nervously. âDamn, this is surely going to smudge everywheââ
Your words are cut off when Nikolai suddenly holds your face and slams her red lips against yours, as deep as the colour. Her fruity scent sips into your nose as you breathe inâheart beating as fast as if it tries to run. Her soft lips caress yours, the tip of her tongue teasing so lightly before she pulls away.Â
âYup, it smudges.â
©doukeshi-kun 2025 â do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, more @/cherikolya
if you like my works, consider buy me a ko-fi!
#éććž«-saysâÛȘàœŽ#éććž«-jestâÛȘàœŽ#nikolai gogol x reader#nikolai x reader#bsd x reader#bsd imagines#bsd nikolai gogol#nikolai imagines#bsd nikolai x reader#bungou stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader
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Doctor Kenneth McCormick & The Beautiful Concept of âLove To The Point of Inventionâ
Okay! So I could not stop thinking about the dynamic between Dr. McCormick and Victor Chaos, and more importantlyâ chapter 13 of my fic⊠Iâm sorry yâall. Itâs just,,, there was so much discussed in this chapter and I just wanted to talk about it MORE. I wanted to voice everything out, even revealing some behind the scenes stuff, implications, deleted paragraphs, investigative research, and my thought process throughout the chapter. It was a long one; it couldâve been longer, but I genuinely forced myself to stop. Anyway, feel free to read my very own âdirectors cutâ! Just letting you know ahead of time that it WILL be containing spoilers for Chapter 13 of âI Will Make of Youâ and my one-shot (Un)Forbidden Love.
The backstory starts off as newly graduated Kenny and Butters, with Butters asking him to run away together. The reason for his hesitation is explored on (Un)Forbidden Love, but actually a big scene I cut out [and was going to be featured in this chapter] was â
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The one where Kevin gifts his truck to Kenny and Butters. I was planning on hinting that Butters had explained his plan to Kevin beforehand, and had asked for his help into getting a truck of his own. Kevin, being literally the coolest person ever, basically told him that they can take his truck, and he will be gifting it to them. Butters and Kevin go back and forth about it, Butters being âno, I canât possibly take yours! Thatâs unfair and selfishâ, until Kevin hits him with the âIâm not doing it for you, itâs for him. We both want Kenny to be happy.â Obviously, Kenny doesnât know this conversation happened đ„č, but caring older brother Kevin tugs at my heartstrings. I also wanted to add a tidbit where Kevin is helping them pack their things in the truck, he whispers to Leo to âmake him happy and give Ken the life he deserves.â KILL ME NOW, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!
â
Moving on past their new established relationship, we get the first hints of Vicâs negotiating skills. It is already established in the canon universe of the Post Covid South Park specials that Kenny is a very talented scientist whoâs done all these amazing thingsâ but we also find out that Butters (Vic Chaos) is the one that actually funds all of Dr. McCormickâs projects! I tried to mess around with this concept in my own story, but the one thing I always wondered was: What made Kenny want to become a scientist in the first place?
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Love to the Point of Invention
I think there is something so pure, and so genuinely beautiful about loving someone so much, youâre capable of inventing something revolutionary BECAUSE of them. There are many examples of this actually happening in real life:
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Kenny seeing Butters come homeâ fatigued and stressed from all the workloadâ it motivated him into creating something to help Butters feel better. And it not just worked, but someone actually bought Kennyâs invention. Of course, if it wasnât for Butters [Chaosâs] negotiating tactics, they wouldnât have secured the millions of dollars that helped them get into an Ivy League Uni.
Personally, I feel like Kenny truly is talented when it comes to being an inventor, but both in canon and in IWMOY, his main motivators where always the people he loves. Butters is also canonically good at running a business, and his Vic Chaos persona proves that heâs capable of getting some good money off of investors. Scientist Kenny who invents all these crazy things and Vic Chaos who invests, sells, markets, funds his inventionsâ Itâs literally a match made in heaven yâall đ, theyâre a power duo!
â
There are a lot of other things I want to get into but Iâm going to skip ahead a bit to talk about the main event of this chapter: Cooperâs creation! Iâve always headcanon that Stan and Kyle are more family oriented and the more likely to have kids first, while Kenny isnât as caring about the concept. So when Kenny witnessed their joy and Butters cuddling up with a baby, it sort of planted him with an image of a family in his head. What really sold the idea was that conversation he had with Butters. Kenny wasnât aware that Butters was having daydreams of starting a family with him until that very night đ„Č, it once again motivated him into creating something that will make Buttersâ daydream a reality. LOVE! CREATION!!
Now, the concept of bringing a human to life in the ânon-traditionalâ sense is actually very complex AND controversial đ. I was aware that there were some negative views towards the study of human cells and artificial wombs, but I didnât know just how bad itâs perceived⊠Bro, even IVF and surrogacy are still somewhat frowned upon. Iâm the type of person that even if itâs not mentioned or come up in my essays, I still do extensive research so I can get a general idea of what Iâm writing about. For Cooperâs âbirth,â there were three main things that needed to be focused:
The study of cells and how to make gametes of two people of the same sex to successfully produce a zygote (fertilized cell/embryo)
Artificial Wombs, how they work, and how will they function for a developing human fetus
The weekly development of a baby and what they will need inside a womb to grow/develop healthy
All of these things have their own concerns that required different forms of investigation, and it brought up a lot of moral dilemmas that I REALLY (and I mean really) overthought during the entirety of my research and writing process.
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One
In real life, the use of animals for scientific purposes is controversial because, letâs be realâ no one wants animals to be abused for humanityâs own desire to learn. Hell, I wouldnât want that either! Yet, in my fic, Kenny does use lab mice and monkeys and itâs actually an integral component for this experiment. Personally, I do believe there is an ethical way we could use mice and monkeys for research; and thatâs if the experiment doesnât cause deadly risks and physical or psychological harm to the animals. You can let me know your thoughts! I feel like Kenny would actually be less empathetic about it than Stan, which is why I made him call Kenny out on it. Lol. Getting that out of the way, how would Kenny use those animals to reach his goal?
Lab mice are actually used to this day, and theyâre a valuable species for the study of human biology, pathology, etc.. Mice have 20 chromosomes in their haploid genome, their gestation period takes on average 19-21 days, their genetic complexity is pretty low; thereâs also low ethical concerns due to their rapid reproduction, small size, and short lifespan. Scientist already have a general understanding of their genetics so it makes the testing more straightforward. Kenny will definitely find more early success and failures during this section since the breakthrough can be proof that conception is possible with two species of the same sex.
I stated this in chapter 13, but the next animal they tested on was the Rhesus Macaque; theyâre the primates most genetically and physiologically similar to humans. A single rhesus macaque contain 21 pairs of chromosomes, gestation period is roughly 166 days, and their maternal health has a big influence to a babyâs development much like a human. Kenny testing with these animals will help bridge the gap, enhance the technology, and address any issues that happen throughout the process. But since theyâre pretty similar to humans, especially with their reproductive biology, it raises more ethical questions than with the lab mice. The failed attempts of gestation, fetal development, and the long-term health would be very hard to ignore. This step would take significantly more time and patience, lots of care will need to be taken place before ANYTHING becomes feasible. So once everything is overcome, then we could possibly move to humans.
The ultimate and final goal would be testing this technology with humans. Human genomes are extremely complex, they have 23 pairs of chromosomes (which is 46 in each cell), gestation is roughly 9 months, human embryos require precise conditions, and their long-term health need to be carefully monitored years after their birth. The testing of this would definitely be frowned upon by society. Realistically, we would need highly advanced technological breakthroughs to make this happenâ it is very likely Kenny wouldâve gruesomely fail this step many times. But I didnât want to make him suffer the losses of his potential children :(, thatâs too cruel. Besides, Cooper is a strong kid, and Kenny used his cursed blood to create him!
Overall, it truly isnât scientifically possible for two species of the same sex to procreate because their biological mechanisms lack the components for fertilization (yetđ). Theyâll probably need to reprogram or edit genes and cells to transform at least one male gamete into an egg-like cell. (Iâve sort of drawn inspiration from stuff like CRISPR-Cas9). Then, similar to that of IVF, mimic the fertilization of both of the cells, continue editing the genes to make them compatible, remove any harmful mutations that might occur, and ensure the embryo has the necessities for proper development. What Iâm trying to get at is that either Kenny or Butterâs gametes had to be transformed into an egg so that Cooper could exist [and also Tweek and Craig for Emilio if you think about it] đ«ą. Yâall can decide on whose cell it was.
Two
Artificial wombs are an actual thing being developed and testedâ mice embryos have been used on clear rotating vials and theyâve actually attempted to use an artificial womb for a premature lamb who needed help with their lungs! When I first thought of using the concept of an artificial wombs back when I was drafting this story, the first images that came to my mind were something like the scenes from âI Am Mother.â
This technology was my main inspiration for Cooperâs creation becauseâ really guysâ how else would Kenny and Butters have a biological kid of their own if not with the use of advanced technology đ??? Before I reached this scene, even as far back when I revealed the explanation back in chapters 2 and 8, I didnât think much about this; truly, I wasnât even thinking of making it a big deal. But then it was time for me to finish drafting chapter 13, and I decided to make more research on the concept, this video by Cleo Abram appeared on my recommended!
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It completely changed my perspective on the concept and even made me want to tread with the idea more carefully. I really recommend watching it if youâre interested on what Iâm going to be talking about. I didnât realize how controversial or even the complexity of it. So, not only did I do research, but I also did a deep dive on motherhood and pregnancy đ€âŠ.
Let me start with the negative conversations: The main issue people have with it is that this technology breaks the âidea of childbirthâ and the âbeauty of pregnancy.â Many mothers believe that itâs an amazing thing to grow a human inside of them, and they feel some type of bond between their child as they grow. Itâs a sacred thing and âpart of being a womanâ, and they donât want technology to take that away from them. *Though the concept of artificial wombs being an actual thing is purely fictional and theoretical, Iâd like to point out that alternatives such as surrogacy and IVF are real options and even those are controversial till this day*
The positive side: some mothers believe that this technology could be a great alternative since child birth can be very dangerous to certain women whose biology doesnât allow them to carry, or canât conceive at all. Others simply donât want to experience the labor. Pregnancy in general could be a very difficult thing for both the mother and a baby, this alternative could help alleviate those concerns.
In my heart of hearts, I couldnât make Kenny be the one to invent this because honestly, he just wouldnât understand; Heidi Turner was the best decision in my opinion. I always wanted to make her be a part of Kennyâs scientist team, and this experiment felt like the right opportunity. I donât feel qualified to put my two cents on the topic, so Iâm gonna end this segment by quoting what one of my friends said.
âFor starters, I donât want to have kids of my own, nor do I plan on ever becoming pregnant due to my own personal circumstances. But if I were to have a choice, I would like this to be one of my options. I have heard both the horrors and positives of what pregnancy does to a woman and it makes me not want to be pregnant even more. In the end, idk what the process would look like, let alone the aftermath of both my and the babies health. Of course not everyone would agree, and maybe there would be pushback for this sort of advancement, but I feel like we should focus on the idea of giving women more alternatives to choose what they could do with their own bodies instead of being self righteous about whatâs natural or not.â
Three
Yâall đ a baby developing in a womb is really no easy task. We donât know what happens inside a uterus when a baby is inside, itâs not like we can peek inside a womb, so we mostly just go by the current research of the weekly gestational period. But I tried my best to sum up how the process would be like. A fetus in an artificial womb would have to be in an environment that replicates the uterus. Nutrients and oxygen need to be exchanged, facilitate waste, hormonal changes that happen during pregnancy need to be mimicked, temperature and pH need to be regulated, amniotic fluid is important for allowing a fetus to moveâ well, pregnancy is complicated. Not to mention how foreign and disconnecting it could be for a baby to develop outside of their motherâs womb, that connection could be crucial too, no machine can mimic that warmth and feeling, and I made sure Heidi be the one to point that out.
Literally a single wrong move could be the end. Itâs a very high level risk⊠This is a gamble with human life. Everything could go so wrong in many ways if they arenât careful. Nothing about this could be considered natural.
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No matter how you view it, what Kenny is doing is selfish. He is messing with natural order of life to have a son of his own with his husband. He knows this more than anyone else. Thatâs why when Craig also wanted to try to have a son of his own using this method, Kenny felt displeased. Craig CANNOT be having a spur-of-the moment baby fever, this isnât something to FOMO aboutâ this is a human they are attempting to create. Conscious human life. If they die in the middle of gestation, or they suffer long-termâ it is entirely on their selfish fault. I wanted to add a scene where Kenny straight up tells Craig âNOâ and that he wasnât ready for it. It would lead to a big thing where even Tweek gets involved and explains his side and wheewww would it have turned out way longer.
Though this entire experiment was kinda Kennyâs sort of selfish desire of creating a familyâ itâs that LOVE he has for Leo that pushes him to invent this (love, inventionâŠ. *sighs*), and it was love for his son that pushed to save him in the end. It really is romantic and beautiful to deeply love someone đ..
This is such a heavy and interesting concept that I feel could bring on a lot of conversation to the table, I want this to be an open discussion so feel free to comment your thoughts and opinions. I also want to iterate that I AM NOT A SCIENTIST NOR AM I AN EXPERT IN ANY OF THESE CONCEPTS OR TOPICS THAT IâVE DISCUSSED. IM JUST SOME SILLY AND STUPID GUY WHO WRITES SOUTH PARK FANFICTION â ïž
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Small little things I like to add from this chapter:
Craig living in Houston because he worked for NASA is so funny to me. Idk much about how they work over there but I do know that those roads and highways are no joke. Bro was fighting for his life in those 14 lane roads đ. They always have construction and accidents too, shit is stressing me just thinking about it </3
Stan and Kyle being family oriented feels so right to me, and Stan getting cold feet because he doesnât want to end up like Randy đ my shaylaaa. Idk whatâs it like to be a parent so I hope Stanâs dialogue felt realistic đ. I didnât want to include too much of how they adopted Robin, but I also wanted to give a bit of a recapped explanation that was somewhat realistic. Cartmanâs death and the adoption happening around the same time would obviously stress them even more so I feel like anxiety is normal in the situation. It worked out in the end tho hehe đ«¶, and it was thanks to this scene that motivated Kenny into starting his family.
Butters saying Cooper was âcooped up in thereâ and didnât âwant him to feel lonelyâ down there âčïž
I also wanted to add a bit of background Tweek being an engineer and more of Doctor Heidi Turner, but,,,,,,, chapter too long. We did decent amount of Heidi content tho, but no Tweek. He will appear in chapter 14 yâall đTrust.
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Anywhoâ I feel like I went overboard with this deep dive but if you have any input with the topics discussed or the dynamics between Kenny and Butters as Doctor McCormick and Vic Chaos, or literally anything else, please feel free to share đ„č
#south park#uta blabs#iwmoy#fanfiction#kenny mccormick#sp bunny#bunny#leopold butters stotch#victor chaos#vic chaos#fanfic#fic analysis#deep dive#sci fi#science#artificial wombs#ao3 fanfic#south park post covid#sp post covid#sp creek#if you squint#they get mentioned in this#essay#discussion#sp style#they also get mentioned here#read my fic yall#i be whacking my head over a South Park fanfic#this is actually insane
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I don't think tying my health to social media is a good idea but I was thinking that if I did like, mini comics about positive things like "Went outside for a walk! Did exercise!" Could trick my brain into doing it more often? Like congratulating myself for the bare minimum and then slowly doing more difficult things đ€
#man idk like i recognize that I shouldn't turn my recovery into another way of being productive but I also need some motivation#like going on daily walks would be an amazing thing but I'm far from achieving that right now#like sometimes pretending im a influencer that has my life together kinda makes it fun#makes taking care of myself feel more special
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Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.
Some Thoughtsâą I had while putting this together (under the cut):
In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.
It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]
The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]
Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]
In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]
In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]
Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.
#the murderbot diaries#murderbot#đż#hi i'm READY to write a thesis about murderbot i am having way too much fun with this#i created a pretty excel spreadsheet and everything#i don't know why i did this but now i can look at them while i think about this more! so i figured i'd share them haha#i didn't count uses of 'friendly' but special shoutout to when MB is all alone in its cold cubicle missing 20% of its body mass#and starts putting on a show because 'the friendly noise would keep it company' đđ#i feel sick thinking about murderbot all alone on its own not knowing what its like to have friends watching media for 'the friendly noise'#also YES okay i wanted to make a point about miki there but i just#couldn't bring myself to talk about that more so... yeah#also uhhh this data is very subjective#i didn't count particularly ironic uses of 'friend' and generally did not count every instance of friend and sometimes it was a hard call#also i probably shouldn't have counted the times murderbot refered to drones or secsystems as its friends (often after hacking them)#but murderbot does seem to care about them and shows kindness and respect and sometimes points out that a system is friendly#so while i don't think MB means âfriendâ in the same way referring to them as when it refers to ART for instance#i still think its CUTE and also kinda funny how many times that happened so i decided to keep those!!!#but yeah take my data with a grain of salt lol
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r u the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u buy whatever little thing u want as an adult and struggle with saving for the big mandatory thing,
or the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u just never buy anything small bcs u had to learn to live without it and constantly try to save for the next big thing in 500 yrs
#everyones been asking what i wanted for my bday and i always say nothing#like i hate the feeling of getting somebody smthing just to get them smthing like personally#it needs to come from the heart for me. if it's for smthing big like a bday#now like getting someone a coffee judt to get them one on a random day is dif bcs it's just smthin random on a random day i can understand#but idk like as a kid into adulthood the only bday my relatives / guardians have ever celebrated was my adopted brother's n my dad's#the dad bcs hes a hyperconservative dictator lol n the older adopted bro is cus hes got higher needs#so everybody gets more money taking care of him n stuff so u gotta act like u care abt him according to the guardians#but like i never even knew bdays were that big to people. like i mean i know OTHER PEOPLES bdays are big to them#i find ppl who rlly love their bdays to be rlly cute. like i dont think theyre selfish or make fun of em cus theyre judt having fun#n like u only get one x yr bday so have fun with it!!#but for ME? my bday was never anything special n i dont think it is now#everybody feels bad or smthing for me or for not getting me nothing today but it's like?? this is the norm??? im cool with it#ive been thinking abt other stuff like i just dont have time to think abt the pleasures rn. i have to double on the pain or smthing#like my friends always laugh abt how i dont drink coffee/tea or alcohol bcs u cant be in the medical field without a lil smn smn#& it's like idk ! i like ppl that do do that kinda stuff but like! i never grew up with that & it just feels odd to do it now kinda thing#idk im very cheap but also i will use the fact that im cheap on the small stuff to justify wanting to make a big purchase#i have a weird relationship with buying things for myself vs for others like 4 others i will buy watever u want bro#sugar papi ted#hey heres this idk insert raccoon bracelet bcs u like raccoons n love wearing bracelets so i thot of u n bought it#but if i buy smthing for me it has to have a dual purpose or smthing#i got to have a free dessert today n chose the churros over the tres leches cake slicr cus u can judt make the cake#but i dont own a deep fryer so i cant make churros n storebought churros just arent the same#like im just always idk comparing or needing to know the use of things yanno#if i do smthing. i have to see it thru. & it has to have multi purpose#i mean just look at my username jrue ships or jrue's hips like#im unwell when it comes to that#idk is anyone else like this#anyways yea this whole new thing of getting stuff on one day is hard for me like it just never matches up with my time#of course ill see stuff id like to have but like. ill just make myself forget it n by the time stuff like this rolls up it's like idk#i COULD get a new laptop but i got one that works just fine. i got an ipad on its last legs but can i still turn it on? alright
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Dread be dreading
#ughg#i usually have awful thoughts randomly popping up here or there#make me pretty anxious for a few days then i won't think about them for a while#but man i can't handle doubts suddenly resurfacing#like this monday i was listening to my last lecture and everything bad i cooked up a in the past few months hit me like a truck#couldn't even focus i was too busy internally chanting shit fuck i don't want this i made a huge mistake shit shit#i won't be able to handle all this responsibility i'm so tired this will butcher my mental health should have chosen media studies fuuuck#what was i thinking what am i gonna do help#then proceeded to distract myself with an electric outlet otherwise i might have started crying#:/#and those thoughts aren't wrong unfortunately#i love this university and the classes and the things i study#the teachers and my classmates and the kids i got to take care of#but i don't think i could do this for real#i'm not even struggling with anything i'm just scared and tired as hell#and thought i could just. power through it- like if i'm stubborn enough it won't matter that it's draining#but damn#and hell originally i came here because i wanted to teach english to kids#i guess my expectations were too high i don't feel like i've learned anything that useful this far#and turns out it won't get better#we just gonna do presentations again#to be fair i loved researching nursery rhymes but i hoped we would have... more. of that#also about media studies. chief... i crave to be there#could have picked the english specialization there too- i'm a moron. a bozo. holy shit#well. gonna go through this semester either way. because again everything i study here (almost everything) is genuinely great and useful#and perhaps i'm just in a Pit right now#the dread pit#should probably break this to my sister. somehow#random squeak
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#on this random monday evening I'm feeling salty how growing up in my family any touches were strongly discouraged#and although I was and am loved by my family members#hugs were only for special occasions like bday or xmas and that's it. very short and impersonal#I grew up understanding that no one would want to touch me unless required by social norms#we would eat at the same table as a family also only twice per year for xmas and easters#even birthdays were âhere's your slice of cake take it and go playâ#affection was through service and food and care but hugs are so nice why would anyone hate hugs from a child ;-;#I don't think I ever heard and actual âI love youâ from my parents either#and I tried to say ilys myself instead but it so visibly makes them uncomfy it's not even funny#too bad I'll never have my own kids to break this dumb tradition#but anyway guys tell your loved ones they're loved#it's better to say it more often than not at all#(also even my cat doesn't like to cuddle đ„Č what sort of military family is this eh)
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also putting 1 and 1 together. as well as words like. as you can use a punch card for "i love my friends" being said around the xmas show b/c also it's a line actedly spontaneously expressed in the mister chestnut christmas medley, punch card for "heart words," there at the start of bloodsong / introduction to the musician & banana & the former's hardassedness & vinegar wit vs banana is not like that, banana saying the musician & his music is saying Dance, Banana, not with your mouth words, but with your heart words....& the musician is like terse mouthwordedness, ft. the audience's ability to infer that perhaps the musician is not really heartwording these things or really that invested in funny little guy dancing tambourine accompaniment. But In True Form....
holding that up to the other [1] in which the musician like Would Be has all the protagonist hardass lead hero power he needs to devote himself to his Mission & kill anyone w/music along the way but it's like step one. i Need banana. cannot do it without having banana here & that has nothing to do with Strategic power levels like he's gonna tell banana no it's fine if you just like are a held hostage no epic successful moves contributor who can't help me during a Situation, don't even worry about it....needs to have his special little guy there, in true form, you wouldn't have to change anything abt the verses of the friendship song to have it be a love(tm) song but it's not b/c it's necessarily that / Not the friendship song really, would never say if the way a relationship is described is like "enough" in whatever metric of intensity intimacy whatever it must Not be [anything] & must Indeed be [anything], lord knows i'm not here to interpret anything as romance as a category based on something inherent, not a context of normative relationality larping. which is also what is happening in bsol, unless you're the romantic leads, in which case i'm like well that's none of my concern except in how it is a plot device....
cue what is also what i was going to get around to in that paragraph anyway like it is beautiful to have the musician be like "well my wife is taken hostage for Evil Marriage larping? obviously gotta go save her" & then have "but first. again i may have already committed my whole being to this & have my lethal music powers but. i Need banana before i can do anything more" & Then have that become a matter of taking on a parallel like well great news banana was also taken hostage for evil marriage larping. (see: exquisite twist & turning contrast is that in this case the "well i want to have the Set & Performance of Marriage, so. pointing a gun at this guy for these three years" hostage taker is openly contemptuous toward banana & all & so perhaps you expect the bastard(tm) to be the exact same way with His [kidnapped hostage okay so now you're my wife then; points a knife at this woman for three years] situation, but first of all the [the conflict w/the antagonist foil brings out [conflict with/in oneself]] element like we need a bit more depth lol so we get that but like, while obviously they're not Actually Close we already are shown that lo cocodrilo Knows this & is actually bothered by it, rather than just like well as long as you have to be staying here on set going through motions then we're good to go. not only the failure of the crocodile approach but failure at Being the crocodile, if he did not actually care about having someone's actual affection (& cue that even after a comedically disastrous exchange, lo cocodrilo's like Default Marriage Larping is the "good evening, darling :)" exit lmao like. is not just fine with genuine contempt beyond the larping) how many brackets am i in what tangent am i on....i think i accidentally concluded it in Sidebar Parenthetical mode there, classic. the contrast that banana's wife is openly contemptuous / hostile, lo cocodrilo has the hostility more comically mixed up in Oh Just Another Average Dinner along with also actually being the party concerned with the desire / pursuit of Genuine Affection / not really being like well this must be fine or as good as it gets then when my wife (who also by contrast is the held hostage party here) tells me to kill myself or what have you)
anyway so that when the musician first before anything else Needs banana & this means saving him from being held hostage in "well, this must be fine? & ideal even, due to the normativity contexts?" (see: again, in an inverse situation, it's lo cocodrilo gunning for the Normative Ideals. while also santa violetta kind of is too but the marriage she already had where she wasn't held hostage for it) evil marriage with someone who hates him & we also see that [the conventions of the spaghetti western is an Expressive device] particularly persistently pushed back for i wear polo shirts now :(....
but what i was getting around to, throwback to that part where i was saying we had the room to think that banana as funny little guy sidekick was, according to conventions, more superfluous to the serious big protagonist than not, surely all the more so when that hero's mission gets activated, all the more seriously. surely that banana is liking to think that the musician is encouraging him to dance with his heart words, not his mouth words, & the musician is mostly like yeah sure whatever but i'm not even gonna use the mouth words to say even that. but here we are getting this scene where it's Step One I Need Banana i'll die or i'll kill to get to him & then i'll use my heart & mouth words alike to indeed encourage him like i know you need to Dance & Sing & Tambourine & be my special little guy who i also need btw. funny little guy banana being right & not being superfluous at all, & i don't know how i'd sing if to me you didn't cling
#i think that's me saying what i actually had the thought like uh oh gotta post & express myself about#bsol#& not like the show makes you dwell on it the way we timeskip & follow the musican's pov here but like#sometimes being like oh no :( banana's life for three years :(#cut to the: me crying over the scene / song just Unexpected following banana for a moment as he prays for the musician#key change right on that like we. hang on i had a thought. i have to continue with this one though. through tears already lmao#key change right on him praying For the musician & it getting more intense the All He Has Done For Me like#even as really like That evil marriage was the one actually more ''successful'' re: yeah just Take & Keep your spouse & have the trappings#& Performance of that ideal married life then; the contempt? sure who cares in the face of those trappings obtained; i said#vs that over with the sitcom of violetta & cocodrilo evil marriage it is Not thusly successful. could be if cocodrilo didn't care; as he#supposedly shouldn't; but we're already shown he does; & is still pursuing Genuine Affection vs oh i just need Spouse here; physically;#hostagely....which again when i tell you the fun & games one can imagine shaking up & sprinkling the coconana dynamic like. oh boy#it's the ''i guess it's nice to be wanted?'' hostage vs the guy actually already consumed by I'm Not Supposed To Want (but i do)#I'm Supposed To Be Wanted (but i'm not) & he's got a gun a knife a certain je ne sais quoi#anyway what am i saying? right that like violetta & cocodrilo's comedic evil marriage glimpses are not at all like. ''realistic''#even relative to the [bsol is not trying to use realism] vs that our glimpse at banana's & the wife of banana's comedic evil marriage#again at least has that ''successful'' yeah sure i hate this guy but i don't even care about that; i care about keeping him held hostage#presumably also does not care about not having banana's genuine affection as lo cocodrilo is eaten at by not having violetta's#like just a fight of the practical physical matter of [you are thwarting me holding him hostage]#anyway what i'm still saying like slightly more ''realistic'' for that sort of Contempt / Resignation goings on in that evil marriage#vs over with the ''& you only tried to stab me once. is something the matter?'' classic evil marriage Comedically Unrealistic average meal#but that even in how we don't See like montage of the miseries of banana's three years but indefinite life nor even like montage of the#joys of banana's life prior with his special protagonist guy; just the glimpse & understanding context via the emergent Feelings & Behavior#private little song moment with banana key change increased intensity For All He Has Done For Me into there is no one you should protect#more than him....emotional resolution leaping in to save the musician; miracle received: banana not being killed for that....#& i cry about banana's prayer like Character this fellow actual person who yes Is more mouth words emotionally expressive ;m; banana.......#plus my thought was also about how what's considered ''''realistic'''' (tends to be the opposite) about like ah what a miserable situation#being from Outside the perspective of who it happens to & like. about what We Observe abt what happens to some Other person#rather than what that person feels or what even these Overall Emergent traits / behaviors arising from being in that context/situation can#tell us. a glimpse of what's perfectly average in a dynamic which indeed probably Doesn't shatter / disrupt everything b/c its Truly Bad
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Well now I just feel used ? đ§ââïž
#wtf.#dora daily#wasted two years on some wasted 8 on others#and yes it seems to be an entire waste. if you cannot even say hi or check up on me lmfao.#I hurt myself tremendously for these ppl for what ? absolutely nothing.#all this seems to do is make me more bitter and hateful by the day. I hope everyone Iâm referring to knows I find them cruel and heartless#and absolutely horrible human beings#but they will not even see this anyways so âŠ#who wouldâve known that talking to your alleged friend could be so#much of a gruelling task. who wouldâve thought Iâm just as useful as an accessory#and my final and only use can be replaced with countless others#yet the prospect of me being tired because of said inattentiveness somehow seems to be baffling for these people Iâm sure#everyone should just go fuck themselves and leave me alone in peace at least#instead of leading me on to think Iâm worth something when clearly actions prove that is a lie#and I hate liars.#them talking me out of talking to Eris or virtue or discord boy LMFAOOO at least they consistently pretended to care. at least they gave me#the time of day#at least they listened to me talk and pretended like it wasnât nails on chalkboard cause yes I feel like the moment I open my mouth#and talk about anything I happen to like to anyone on this dumb earth theyâre just waiting for me to stop#and ik those three donât care or are uninterested in what I had to say but at least they pretended to#and if pretend liking me is the best I can get in this world Iâll happily feed into that delusion rather than be lonely with company#I see that the only thing that made these people special remotely was how much I doted on them#taking off your rose tinted glasses makes it seem the world as you know it has crumbled entirely :/
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Being treated like a helpless kid: magick edition
#ooooooi I'll be 65 years old and still be treated like that#I mean I know how I look like and how I sound when I speak#it doesn't change the fact that I'm an adult perceiving you x)#I'm observing đ#like. why on earth would I accept her âprotectionâ do I look like a scared bunny or something#I don't need her to lecture me either I have the feeling that I have way more experience with magick than her...#I might not consider myself a magician or witch like. At all. But the practice is deeply a part of me#and very personal also. Not something I do from time to time for special occasions#ok whatever. Nice People like to take care of me I guess . I must not be Evil about that#the trickster in my heart is complaining#thanks gods I created the Prince so I can channel wicked trickster evilness through him#art style. I should make him my drag king persona already
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đ . âź be my valentine? ⥠.á Öč â ê±
ââFirst Years x gn! reader
đ” 729 words
á°.á headcannons, no pronouns used, fluff, a bit ooc(?)
Second Years and Third Years coming up next! feel free to like, reblog, or comment!
á°.á masterlist
I think Ace would pretend he doesnât care about Valentineâs Day, but he actually thinks about it way more than he lets on. Heâs the type to act like he totally forgot, just to see your reaction, only to pull out a small but thoughtful gift at the last second.
Ace likes to tease and play it cool, but deep down, he actually gets a little nervous. He doesnât want to make it too obvious how much he cares, but if you show genuine happiness over his gift, heâll get all smug about itâthough his ears might turn a little red.
"Hah? You really thought I forgot? Please, I always come through! Here, take it. Itâs not a big deal or anything, just a little something I threw together... H-Hey! Donât look at me like that! Ugh, youâre making me blush or something!"
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I think Deuce would take Valentineâs Day way too seriously. Heâd spend weeks planning, overthinking every detail because he wants to impress you. He probably buys a classic box of chocolates but then panics because he feels like itâs not enough. So, he adds moreâa handwritten note, maybe even a little charm or trinket he thought youâd like.
Deuce likes to be upfront, but when it comes to romance, he gets so flustered. He stumbles over his words, gets embarrassed over small things, and is a total mess when handing you the gift. If you thank him sincerely, he might turn bright red and awkwardly try to downplay it.
"U-Uh! Here! I meanâumâI got you something! Wait, Iâm saying this all wrongâahemâI just thought, yâknow, since todayâs special, I should get you something nice. Uh. Do you⊠like it?"
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I think Jack would pretend he doesnât care about Valentineâs Day, but he totally does. He doesnât like all the flashy, romantic gestures, but he does want to do something special for you. His way of showing affection would be through actionsâlike carrying your things, helping you with a task, or offering you a snack from the cafeteria.
Jack likes to act tough, but when it comes to romance, heâs a total tsundere. Heâll say itâs not a big deal, but his tail betrays him by wagging slightly when you accept his gift. If you call him out on it, heâll get so flustered and grumble about how youâre "imagining things."
âHere. Itâs from my hometown. Donât think too much about itâI just figured youâd like it. âŠWhat? Why are you looking at me like that? Iâm not blushing. Youâre imagining things. Seriously, quit laughing.â
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I think Epel would want to be smooth and romantic, but he struggles to pull it off. He tries to write a love letter? Ends up crumpling it up because it sounds too cheesy. He thinks about giving you roses? Freaks out because it feels too formal. In the end, he sticks to what he knows and gives you something handmadeâlike an apple-based treat from his hometown.
Epel likes to play it cool, but if you compliment his gift, his accent slips out, and he turns into a flustered mess. He wants to be the cool and mysterious type, but deep down, heâs just a sweet farm boy who cares about you a lot.
"Here. I made this myself. And before ya start teasinâ me, I was not thinkinâ too hard about it! âŠDâaww, quit smilinâ at me like that! Yer makinâ me feel all soft ân stuff."
âââââââââââââââââââââââââ
I think Sebek would treat Valentineâs Day like a sacred ritual. Heâd act like heâs doing you a great honor by acknowledging this "human tradition," but truthfully? He spent hours making sure his confession was perfect. Heâd go way too formal with it, talking like heâs making a grand proclamation, only to panic if you tease him even slightly.
Sebek likes to be loud and dramatic, but when heâs truly flustered, he does not know how to handle it. If you thank him sweetly or call him cute, expect him to go completely red and start sputtering about how he is "a knight of unwavering resolve" (while avoiding eye contact).
"Human! You should consider yourself fortunate to receive my affections on this day of sentimentality! IâWAIT, STOP SMILING LIKE THAT! I AM BEING COMPLETELY SERIOUS! H-Hey! D-Do not pat my head!! I am not blushing!!"
#۶ৠqka daydreams!#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#ace trappola#deuce spade#jack howl#epel felmier#sebek zigvolt#ace trappola x reader#ace trappola x you#deuce spade x reader#deuce spade x you#epel felmier x reader#epel felmier x you#jack howl x reader#sebek zigvolt x reader#jack howl x you#sebek zigvolt x you#twst ace x reader#twst deuce x reader#twst epel x reader#twst jack x reader#twst sebek x reader#fluff#happy valentine's from qka! âĄ
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#it was all too much#you knew and you said the most perfect thing you could have said#but nothing ever happened#you got my hopes high when I was so so low#words didn't match actions#when I had the money to take myself away#I chose to stay with you#I could have given me a well needed timeout#sun and ocean therapy#but I wanted to share this experience WITH You#the thought of leaving for holidays without you crossed my mind but it felt so so wrong and was no option#you knew what I needed but everything was more important#why did you even talked about it?#giving someone high hopes who's barely alive and completely and utterly on their lowest and then not following through is just cruel#I waited and waited and waited for something that was never going to happen#it's painful knowing I had 'the last money' from my father and could have spent it visiting HIS FAVORITE COUNTRY#he would've totally approved he would have been proud#I will never forgive myself for that#I spent his last money during those months I waited for 'us' to DO SOMETHING#I literally didn't care what all I wanted was a tiny holiday and time out together - so we could get much needed distance peace and quiet#I stayed around because I thought we have to leave together so we could get closer again#I hoped for us get close again get that special one of a kind bond back while making new experiences and memories#just the two of us for once#and then you didn't look on your phone those days before new years eve you obviously didn't care at all if I wrote you or not#you didn't care if we would spend new years eve together#you didn't care about us starting together side by side in the new year#you didn't drove 5 to 10 minutes but had the decency of writing 'would love being on the tower together with you like last year right now'#the year started with a lie obviously you DIDN'T MEAN it otherwise everything would have been different#I can still not fully comprehend what happened few hours later you fucking broke my heart my trust our bond our relationship ALL IN ONE#you made me feel worthless (500 euro was worth breaking everything) you made me feel unloved and totally betrayed you gave a shit on my dad
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Bf!Toji Masturbation Headcanons.
warnings: Ă©xpĂlĂct smĂșt, 18+ thĂ©mĂ©s, mĂĄsturbĂĄtion, phĂłne sĂ©x, yĂĄndĂ©rĂ© tĂłjĂŹ, bf tĂłjĂŹ, big dĂck tĂłjĂŹ, prĂłfĂĄnĂty, mdnĂ.
note. hot đ„” I promise. enjoy this in the cold weather my loves <3
Toji who is so horny all the time itâs impossible for you to keep up with his needs and sex drive.
Toji who loves you so much, he is borderline obsessed with you and so needy, heâs not ashamed of it. You are such a sexy woman that his body automatically reacts to you.
Toji who canât help but fail, in controlling his libido. Because itâs your faultâ you make it hard and you make it impossible.
Toji who feels bad for keeping you up all night long and fucking you until you canât walk straight and feel him for days.
But then one day, you give him a solution to this problem.
And that solution? Itâs so simple..
Toji is a speechless mess when you suggest masturbation to him in order to relieve himself and relief you too.
At first, Toji⊠who is really confused and angry at your suggestion because it feels like to him that you donât want him anymore or maybe that youâre tired of him and this relationship..
But when you look at him with those eyes of yours and politely explain your problem that it is hard for you to keep up with him sometimes? He understands.
Toji who actually takes your suggestion seriously, and tries to work on it.
The problem is though that heâs always horny for you.
It doesnât help when youâre talking to him on the phone and the sound of your voice is making his cock harden instantly, even when youâre not there.
So he, remembering your suggestion, slowly lets his sweatpants down, talking to you in that breathy deep voice of his.
âMhmm yeah keep talkinâ baby⊠mhmm yeah? Hm? Really she said that? What a bitch.â he listens to you rant, you had a bad day at work because of a bitchy coworker of yours.
Mina that coworker of yours deserves to have a special place in hell for herself for giving you a hard time and he will personally make sure that she does but right now all he cares about is getting off.
His dick is painfully hard. The more you talk the more it gets reactive and harder.
Toji takes it out of his boxers, the hard leaking thick cock of his pulsing in his hand as he stares at it, his eyes widen in surprise and fascination.
The cock pulses the more you talk, Toji groans as he finally starts to touch himself, âI-Uhhh yeah yeah âm listeninâ to you baby- ah yeah..yeahhh.â
You donât catch on the way heâs so beathless and almost dazed, you are too busy being angry at your coworker to notice his tone changing
He touches the tip, squeezing it and he groans in pain & pleasure, he bites his hand to muffle the sound.
âUh no⊠no no itâs nothing keep talking. I just I fucking hit myself accidentallyâŠâ he laughs, stroking his hard thick length.
Heâs going to cum soon. He strokes it harder, squeezing, he closes his eyes, suddenly imagining your mouth on him instead of his hand, you gagging and choking-
Making a saliva filled, disgusting mess on his cock as you take him deeper in your throat.
âO-Oh fuck mmm- yn can you tell me you love me?â
He suddenly quickly interrupts your rant, âp-please fuckin- just- *pants* tell me you love me okay?â
âToji darling are you OK? What kind of request is this? Iâm literally so angry right now.â You ask him out of concern and that turns him on even more.
âJ-Just fuckin tell me shhhâŠâ he strokes himself harder.
âUgh okay fine. I love you so much.â You angrily grumble and thatâs what gets him cumming super hard on his own hands, he keeps cumming as he finally lets out a guttural moan into the phone.
âT-Thank you princess mhmm looks like your remedy worked. Just had a mind blowing orgasm. Now keep ranting.â
He laughs and youâre just so speechless.
#toji smut#jjk smut#yandere jjk#jjk x reader#yandere x reader#smut#yandere smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro x you#jjk x yn#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#toji x reader#toji x you#toji x y/n#toji x self insert#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere toji#yandere fushiguro#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jjk#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#toji zenin#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu toji
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before katsuki left for his remedial classes, you tied his scarf for him once.
"oh, wait !" you exclaimed suddenly. katsuki looked at you curiously, scarf still in hand. you took it from him while he continued to watch, still confused.
you started tying the brown wrap around his neck. it has been getting colder, you thought it was cute how hard he was trying to stay in top shape. shows how much of a cool bad boy he was.
"lemme do it.." you mumbled, focused on your task. katsuki's eyes widened for a second, then he squints. "i can do it myself, dummy.." he huffs, but he doesn't make a move to stop you, especially with that look on your face. he quickly looks away shoving his hands in his pockets to hide how sweaty they're getting.
"i know that, just lemme !" you whine, he doesn't respond to you. clicking his teeth under his breath. you pat his chest once you're done. it doesn't take long, a few seconds. quick and effective, you smile.
"alright, you're all bundled up." he rolls his eyes, clearly not amused by your words and it makes you chortle. you lean up to press your lips to his, it only takes him a second before he reciprocates it, leaning into you so suddenly you have to grip at his uniform to keep your balance.
"i'm off." he breathes when he pulls away.
you nod "do your best, yeah ?" he nods back, then heads out.
it wasn't anything special. it only took you a few seconds, quick and effective.
a week later, there's a knock at your door.
"oh, katsuki !" you chirp "i thought you had your classes today ?"
katsuki stands at your door, making no move to come in. he has his usual grumpy look on his face, tilting his head slight. his scarf draped across his neck.
"i do, jus.." he cuts himself off, his eyes dart around to you, then peeking inside your room. "wanted to let ya know 'm heading off." he mumbles, ducking his head. he's grumbling so you can barely hear him, but you tilt your head when you catch his words.
"okay.." you utter wearily. you lean against your doorframe and he readjusts, shifting his weight from one foot to another with a huff.
you keep staring at each other. you're confused but he won't say anything so neither will you. he huffs loudly again, jutting his neck out to you.
"did you..need something ?" katsuki's shoulders drop the moment he hears the second part of your sentence. eyebrows furrowing. his mouth opens and closes, before he groans "s'whatever, forget it." shoving his hands into his pockets he trudges off, pink staining his ears. you roll your eyes.
"katsuki !" you call out, he stops immediately, glancing back at you slightly. you smile, walking over to him you spin him around. he's about to open his mouth to question you, but quickly closes it when he sees you reaching for the soft fabric around his neck.
you grab the ends of his untied scarf. slowly tying it for him "you'll catch a cold." you tease, tightly securing the knot. katsuki squints down at you, and when you look up at him he quickly looks away. he scoffs softly and you giggle to yourself at the glimpse you caught of his pink cheeks.
once you're done, you pat his chest. "there we go, all done." you hum. katsuki grunts, fiddling with one end of his scarf before dropping it. "thanks..'r whatever.." he leans in, "gimme' kiss." he mumbles quickly, but doesn't even give you any time to think about it before he already presses his lips to yours, you smile into it.
he looks down at your lips once more "'m off." he says lowly.
"have fun." you smile. your smile widens when he rolls his eyes with a scoff. "do your best, okay ?" he nods subtly, turning around and heading off.
"be careful !" you call out, he sends you an lazy wave.
katsuki tucks his nose into his scarf the moment the outside air hits his face, he inhales and his eyebrows pinch together at the cold. but he thinks he catches a whiff of your perfume on his scarf, he thinks about your hands on his chest and he feels just a little bit warmer.
he'll get you to tie his scarf for him again next time.
#not proofread but will fix later !#i actually dont remember if his classes were once a week but OH WELL BLEHHH ITS CUTE IDCCC#this was a silly lil thought i had theheh i lub him#bakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugou imagine#bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou katuski x reader#katsuki x you#katsuki bakugo fluff#bakugo katsuki x reader#katsuki x y/n#bakugo x reader#bakugou drabble#bakugou fluff#bakugo x female reader#bakugo x you#bakugo x y/n#bakugou x you#bakugou x y/n#bakugou x fem!reader#katsuki bakugou x you
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